SHIT HOT COPY & DANGEROUSLY SEDUCTIVE EMAILS FOR BOLD ECOM BRANDS

GREAT COPY IS ART

It’s a dance of seduction and persuasion. A potent cocktail of research, knowing what your customer wants, understanding their psychology, and speaking to those deep, hidden desires that drive every purchase decision.

All delivered with creative flair.

It is not about showing up in an inbox every other day with a countdown timer and yet another discount code, praying they take the bait. 

That’s neither influence nor persuasion. It’s the kind of behaviour that kills brands.

Speaking of which…

WE’VE ENTERED A NEW ERA

Since the emergence of AI, we’ve been inundated with painfully dull copy that lacks soul, meaning, and personality.

Never in our history has it been so blatantly obvious to spot the explosion of lazy, destined-to-die brands. 

Clearly, those at the helm have little to no understanding of consumer behaviour, psychology, or persuasion. They only know — and blindly trust — what AI provides them.

Boring, overly safe, sterile copy that stands for nothing. 

You know it. Your customers know it. And because of this, it’s never been easier to set yourself apart from the competition. 

Why?

Because the competition is killing itself and its customers...

Murder-suicide. Cause of death? Boredom.

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF

I must have been a bold little bastard in a past life because, for my sins, the big man summoned me here to write love letters that drive sales for brands like yours. 

While some consider it a lost art, writing remains essential to the success of any business. Yet staring at a screen, praying the words will come, is gut-wrenching. 

Enter Nicky: I’ve spent the guts of twenty years inhaling books and courses on writing, psychology, advertising, and — more recently — e-commerce. 

Like a chameleon, I adapt. I don’t write for me, I write for you. It’s not my voice, it’s yours.

My job is to free you from that wretched torture, grow your wealth, and scale your business to new heights.  

70% average open rates and 50% attributed revenue from email and SMS aren’t pipe dreams — they’re well within reach.

If you’ve got a bold brand with edge, attitude, and a damn good product, there’s never been a better time to lace your pages and emails with personality-driven copy your customers can’t help but fall in love with.

IT’S TIME TO TAKE A STAND

At the heart of every memorable brand with a cult following are stories that captivate and resonate.

Apple does it. Nike does it. Frank Body does it. Paynter Jacket does it. WeWork did it…

Until Adam Neumann let greed get the better of him and fucked it all up. But that's a story for another day.

If you want longevity and a cult following akin to the Church of Scientology, then showing up in an inbox with fake scarcity and urgency won't cut it. 

Neither will filling your pages with Shopify or Klaviyo's cookie-cutter templates designed to satisfy the masses.

You must tell stories. You must have a personality. You must take a stand. 

Because without passion, without connection, and a great story, you'll drown in the tsunami of soulless brands lacking style, substance, and originality. 

Totally. Utterly. Forgettable.

MY CLIENT PROMISE

Bleed passion into the work

Treat your brand as if it’s my own

Obsess over results

Fix shit, don’t whine about it 

Always evolve

Overdeliver

Think outside the box

Produce original work

Win

TALK RESULTS, GODDAMMIT

The million-dollar question. The broken promises. The lies you’ve been told…

The truth?

Numbers don’t lie. People do.

Results vary. Variables matter. Every brand is different.

However, as mentioned earlier, 50% attributed revenue is within reach... as long as you partner with the right person.

When I started working with the client below, their account was a mess. Deliverability tanked. No storytelling, no creativity, no strategy.

Today, a shit hot strategy paired with bold, personality-fuelled copy makes email their biggest revenue driver by far, predictably ranging from 45-55%.

THE GOAL NEVER CHANGES: EXCELLENCE

SET ME LOOSE

IF YOU WANT EMAILS LIKE THIS:

Guys!!!

I don't know what the fck you've changed recently, but holy shit, you're killing it…

I don't know any other brand whose emails speak so true to their tone of voice.”

While I’m more inclined towards modesty, I know exactly what changed:

THEY HIRED ME.